Epiphany (I)

Often, friends and family have told me how they are almost certain of seeing me in some news paper someday. Flattering as it might seem, their remark more often than not leaves me perturbed and secretly praying that it's not on the third page of some news paper under the obituary column.

I'm not sure if it's the youthful idealism, arrogance or my ego but I do desperately want my life to mean something.

D
...........................................................................
Additional NOTE:
Dear D,
Even though Paulo Cohelo told you otherwise, you can't just want something badly enough and then leave it up to the conspiring universe to do the needful. Believing that this or any other parallel universe will conspire in your favour just by virtue of wanting something isn't just stupid, it's beyond stupid.

It's about time you stop being stupid, got off your lazy ass and started doing things. Also, start USING ME for a change, I'm one of those wonderful things that the more you use, the more I grow.

With Love,
D's Brain

You know you're with the right guy when..

..even after being with you for 4 years

• the thought of being with you for another forty still fills him with a sense of wonder
• he remembers the stuffed white tiger you liked in the mall and surprises you with it and a little tiger cub at your work.
• he drives through traffic to your work just because you have a sudden whim to have lunch with him
• he wrote a special song, just to put you to sleep
• he holds you by the waist and sings softy in your ear till you completely forget what was bothering you
• he drives around entire city to find you momos exactly like the ones you loved in back home
• he tells a store manager to keep an eye out for a particular blue dress you had been obsessing over and randomly picks you from work to get you the dress as soon as it arrives
• he celebrates your ‘Birthday Eve’, ‘Birthday’ and throws in another ‘Birthday++’ because you don’t want the celebration to end yet. 3 days of birthday celebration because he knows how much you love your birthdays
• he gets you lunch because you are too lazy, too hungry or too caught up to get some yourself
• he knows that you’re sharing your last piece of chocolate cake with him only and only because you’re full and still loves you
• he sings you to sleep
• he tells you dragon stories(if you still love dragons that is) to keep your mind off the pain during your periods
• he quits smoking because the smoke makes you nauseous
• he flies down from another city over the weekend because you really miss him
• he randomly gets you roses
• he sees the world as - things you love or would love and things you dislike and hate
• he is willing to let you drive his car even though the last time was a disaster
• instead of ignoring you or waiting for you to tell him, he still gets bothered if you are even slightly angry, upset or even irritated
• he stops the car and runs across the highway to get you some wild dried plant that you thought looked fascinating
• he takes out time every once in a while to tell you that you are the best thing that happened to him

P.S: Still confused? Well let's just say if you're with the right guy, you'll already have a list of your own. ;)

The Right Guy? 

Sheila Ki Jawani..

You're about to become a part of an experiment. Be ware.

1. Were you named after anyone?

No. My parents like to be different. In fact I dare you to find another person with same name as mine.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I was livid and was almost reduced to tears when someone told me how amazing I am and promised me he meant it.

I think my reaction messed up his 'understanding' of women .

3. Do you like your handwriting?

Yes. I was forced to make all soft-boards and charts in school.

4. What is your favourite lunch meal?

Momos, creamy mushroom pasta, chicken (roasted, tandoori, tikka, kabab, butter, curry, grilled.. you name it)

5. Do you have kids?

I have a wife, a would be husband, many would be wives and a tiny brother who looks up to me and that I bully around. But no real kids.

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself?

There are exactly two possibilities: 
a) I would be best-friends with myself   
b) I would kill myself and be proud that I did mankind a favour.

7. Do you use sarcasm?

Would you leave me alone if I did?

8. Do you still have your tonsils?

Yes, I still have my tonsils, and my appendix and all the other useless organs in my body just like I still have all my small clothes, books and toys. I find it hard to junk stuff no matter how useless they are. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

9. Would you bungee jump?

What is there to not like about the idea of hanging upside down and looking at the world with a whole new perspective?
Literally.

10. What is your favourite cereal?

I am required to have a 'favourite' cereal? What are you- my mom?

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

If I could convert all the time I saved by NOT untying my shoes into money I would be a millionaire by now.

13. What is your favourite ice cream?

Butter scotch, Chocolate, vanilla

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Whether or not they possess the art of conversation.

15. Red or Pink?

It has to be the colour of Passion, anger and DANGER. RED.

16. What is your least favourite thing about yourself?

My volatile moods

17. Whom do you miss the most?

RKC. I don't think I would have been familiar with the concept of 'missing someone' had it not been for him.

18. Do you want everyone to complete this list?

Because completing this list is such an enriching experience that if they didn't their life would be incomplete?

19. What colour pants and shoes are you wearing right now?

At home I am only found in boxers or skirts. Yes, even in winters. 
Pants are just too restricting, don't you think? 

21. What are you listening to right now?

My grumbling stomach.

22. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?

WHITE. 

- I'll be good as new, always

- kids wont be peeling my cover and rubbing my face on  paper trying to fill colour in some old man's payjamas

- I would have to do no dirty work, yet no crayon set would be complete without me. ;-)

23. Favourite smells?

Wet mud, pertol, vicks, camphor, nail polish remover, chicken being cooked. 

24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

My grandfather.

25. Do you like the person who sent this to you?

It wasn't sent to me. I just picked it from Anta . Yes, without even asking her. Is that rude?

26. Favourite sports to watch?

Lion/tiger/crocodile/Snake hunting their prey.

27. Hair colour?

Black. And just so you know, my heart is black too.

28. Eye colour?

How bored are you?

29. Do you wear contacts?

No, seriously?

30. Favourite food?

Can I write a 5000 word essay here?

31. Scary Movies or Happy Endings?

Scary movies with happy endings.

.

32. Last movie you watched?

American Beauty

33. What colour shirt are you wearing?

How on mother earth knowing the colour of my shirt will add value to your life in any way?
Or are you going to judge me on the Shirt colours I pick?

34. Summer or Winter?

Winter. I alway pray for its long life and good health. :)

35. Hugs or kisses?

Mostly its just handshakes. But then there are people that I hug and kiss all the time :)

37. Most likely to respond?

To invitations for: parties with free food and drinks, gate-crashing weddings, goa trip, dog's birthday and climate change conference (again for free food.), suicide plans, paint-ball war, war, sword fight,etc

38. Least likely to respond?

To mundane things.

39. What are you reading right now?

Nothing. Sad but true.

40. What is on your mouse pad?

My mouse. Duh! 

41. What did you last see on TV?

I don't even remember the last time I watched TV.

42. Favourite sounds?

Papa's car lock sound when he comes back home. I miss it.

43. Rolling Stones or Beatles?

Both.

44. What is the farthest you have been from home?

Kanyakumari. Thats where we welcomed 2010.

45. Do you have a special talent?

No.

Shoot me.

oh wait I can make people cry.

46. Where were you born?

Pataliputra.

47. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back?

Well, if you Do it, you must let me know :)

48. How did you meet your spouse/significant other?

Blogging!


P.S: In case you are still wondering, the title of the blog post has got nothing to do with the post. 
I am just bored and am experimenting.

One of those 'Random Confessions'

A little less dramatic, but close enough..

For someone who enjoyed writing, I haven't written anything in over a year. A long dead and neglected blog is a testimony to that.

It's not because of some writer's block that stretched well over a year. It's not because I lack the will. ‘I’ve been busy and occupied’ is the excuse I give but everybody knows it’s just that, an excuse. Yes, I am lazy, but that's not 'the' reason. I haven’t been emotionally dead for so long either. I had plethora of emotions pulling me in every direction.

I have been livid with anger on numerous occasions, so livid that I cried violently every time I tried writing about it and I have been happy too, so happy that if a genie materialised in front of me right then I won't have known what more to ask for.

I did feel loved, so loved that I couldn't think of a more lucky person.

I felt humiliated, depressed, trampled, crushed and hopeless for days at a time. On the other hand there were days I felt happy, elated, ecstatic, obsessive and passionate.

There were days when I loved every living being on the planet and then there were days when I despised mankind altogether.

There were days when I believed with every grain of my being that the world loves me and on other occasions I believed that I make no difference to this world what so ever with the same passion.

There were days when I went out and made friends of strangers and then there were other when I severed all ties with the world.

Evidently there wasn't a dearth of things to write about. Every emotion that I felt had one common thread, one thing, the only thing that could ever make me write- Passion.

I had abundant opportunities to tell a story that instead of sharing I chose to strangle and push under the carpet.

Why ?

Well, because as I have been told multiple times I am an IDIOT. 

This blog was more than just a blog. It was a promise I made, goals I set, expectations I had from myself. Although I have come a long way since this blog was started, yet, every time I failed to keep those promises, fell short of reaching those goals and meet those obscenely high level of expectations I felt unworthy.

I wanted to write. I wanted it, very badly and so I tried. I tried over and over again and I gave up over and over again. Every time I failed and felt unworthy I marked the occasion by killing a story I could have told.

Now as 2011 inches closer I find myself sitting on a pile of skeletons of stories I killed with what seems like a wasted year, a neglected blog, a confounded mind, two roads diverging in the woods and a scared heart.

P.S: Note to self

Dear scared heart, Please believe. JUST BELIEVE.

Dear Confounded mind, Try harder. You are capable of much more. 'Scared Heart' has a lot of faith in you.

Drugged

Mr. Heart is struggling to break out of the rib-cage. He wants to hip-hop on Delhi streets. Mr. Right Foot and Mr. Left Foot are having a hard time staying in one place. All they want is to hop, jump and run simultaneously on the road.

The Lip sisters have been apart for a long time now revealing the tooth family. Ms. Right Eye and Ms. Left eye don’t feel like blinking… the world never looked so fantastic.

The Ear brothers are in love with Ms. Vocal Chords, who is seemingly aware of her secret admirers and haven’t stopped singing since morning. Kind Mr. Lungs is tired, overworked and out of breath! His ‘Café Oxygen’ has been getting too many delivery orders and he is finding it hard to provide oxygen to everyone despite inflating to twice his size.

P.S: My body is under influence of The happiness drug. :-D

Close Enough. ;-)

A compulsion

As a student of journalism and a future journalist I would be mirroring the needs, aspirations and plight of the society. However, being driven to college every morning to meet the attendance requirement as a prime motivation makes me feel like a donkey. Led to the desired destination by a hanging carrot, the striking similarity of the situation and makes it highly demeaning. The 75% minimum attendance requirement for 'Journalism Hons.' in Delhi University hangs on our head like a double edged sword. Did the authorities get confused between minimum and maximum? By what standards is 75% minimum?

It's almost like we are sleep walking. We go to college because... uh, to get education. Why? Didn't you get enough education in your 12 years at school? Well, but that's what people do after high school. You need to go to college to get a good job (good job= great money = fabulous life style)and you need attendance, both in tutorials and lectures to take University Examinations and to be eligible for promotion to the next class. All those required classes are just obstacles one has to climb over to get the highly solicited degree.

For most students, college is somewhere between a stepping stone and the first taste of freedom. The reasons for not attending classes can range from, a genuine family emergency, a test in another class, time out for recovering from a bad breakup, an incomplete assignment, a beckoning PlayStation, a sudden urge to play Frisbee or even a hangover from the night before or because of your hatred for the class with every ounce of your being.

Coming back to the issue, is attendance the most convenient thing you can do to succeed? And is the lack of attendance the single easiest thing you can do to fail? Or is attendance just another innovative whip in the hands of faculty to bring wayward students on track? I am not against attending classes or the attendance rules requiring students to attend a particular number of classes. I agree that a certain amount of discipline is required but what's the point of attending lectures of the courses which have only instrumental value? All you need to pass these courses are a couple of reference books and notes which have been and are being passed to us by the seniors year after year like some sacred legacy.

In such a scenario caring about the course content or attending classes where the lecturer will dictate the same notes which he gave last year and last to last year and the year prior to that, well seem like wasted effort. Rather than making a grand show of attending classes of the courses which any student with an average IQ can handle on his or her own wouldn't it be better to attend various seminars, film festivals, workshops etc. instead which would help in the over all personality development of the students and equip them with practical knowledge required to handle real life situations.

Skills like original thinking, problem solving, critical ability, creativity, thinking out of the box, handling people etc and experience can't be taught by a lecturer reading out from his/her notes. What's the point of forcing some rules on students just so that the lecturer has a decent number dozing in his class that he can boast? Laying so much interest on attendance makes the entire system attendance centric rather than education centric thus defeating the entire purpose.

Apart from being shameful, using attendance as a stick to rear students to college manifests the shortsightedness of the authorities. These rules will only ensure physical attendance of students in class while they happily sketch cartoons, make graffiti, exchange texts, read the latest bestseller or chick let or just catch up on sleep… waking up occasionally to pretend to be taking copious notes. Let's face it; students will study when they want to study. If authorities really want the students to attend college, they need to look beyond attendance and should try to give the education system the much needed make over.

P.S: Is anybody listening?

Happily Ever After

I am sure that's what you were hoping for and looking forward to? Or at least wishing for? Right??

That’s the cherished dream, I get it.

Good Morning.

Now wake up and go wash your face.
Done?

Look around, yes go ahead. Does it look like you are in a fairy tale?

Exactly.

Welcome to the real world. Have a pleasant stay.

Does it look like you're in a fairy tale?

Tryst with Versatility

"Two roads diverged in a wood,
I took the one less traveled by…
And that has made all the difference!"

A well paying secure job, a decent house and a family, this is all that most people aspire in life. But what would you call a man who gave up these very things and went on to become a street artist and chose a life of uncertainty ? Eccentric?
May be it does take an element of eccentricity to leave the trodden path and wander in uncertain terrain, not just to say that I’ll live life on my own terms but to go out and do it, not just to dare to dream but to chase those dreams and live it!

Piet Bel is one of those few who are living their dream. Sauntering at Connaught Place I spotted a middle aged foreigner making live sketch of a lady. More than his artistic ability what caught my attention was the glint of passion in his eyes. Something about him made me stop and take notice. There are times when one meets the most unexpected people at most unexpected place and in the least expected manner. I stood there in silence observing him finish his sketch with utmost devotion. It was for the first time I had actually experienced how does it feel to love one’s work.

Piet told me that he was well versed in six languages .By profession he was a teacher, a translator, a linguist, an artist, a musician, a traveler and an author. Phew!
‘Versatile’ would be an understatement for such a person. And in case you are wondering, Jack of all trade- you are wrong; he was the master of all.
Piet had been traveling all over the world for last 22 years and already had two published travelogues to his credit. He first came to India in 1997 and since then he has kept coming back. On being asked what intrigued him most about the country, he promptly replied “Why it’s diversity of course,” and then added “Varanasi” as an after thought. “I couldn't stop my amazement at realizing the contrast of Glen Affric in Scottish Highlands and this Indian Varanasi. No other place has made such an impression on me. While floating on the majestic and inspiring Ganges I was happy to be,” he said. His love affair with India incidentally started with Varanasi.

At 48, Piet is more in love with life than any teenager and his contentment shone bright in his eyes. I asked him about the books he had written and he said he had just finished one called ‘Hannah’ which is life story of a girl and with a child like delight added that the closing chapter is based in India. The book has not been published yet. I couldn't keep myself from asking why he chose India as the backdrop for the closing chapter. He immediately got up, opened his bag and took out a white book. “I happen to have an unpublished copy of my work, why don’t you read it and find out for your self?” he said handing me his book. I turned the first page and there it was, in a tiny hand
‘For D, Journalists are the objective and critical eye of society: don’t forget!’ signed Pier Bel.
I could feel the bubble of happiness inflating within me. “May I ask just one more thing?” I asked my voice almost shaking with excitement. “Go ahead,” he said with a smile. “What is it that you wish from life?” “I would like to be somewhere. Be somewhere without wishing any thing else. Be somewhere because I want to be there, not imagining, not knowing there might be other places one could go, not waiting for death as if I was retired or tired of life or waiting for something to happen but to be able to see the trees and look at skies and be able to hear my hear,”  he concluded dreamily.

P.S: We were actually given an assignment to go to C.P and interview any "interesting" person we can find and report it.
* First target was the CD guys at Palika and that turned out to be a hilarious and "ENRICHING" experience.
* I zeroed on beggars next but that didn't work either and Shruti ended up giving her lunch (Chicken roll) to them.
* Then We just bumped into PIET BEL and ended up talking to him for over 2 hours and finally I did get an "interesting" interview and the draft of his not yet published book so nice of Piet!
* Yesterday I was up all night trying to write this report but I couldn't get a sentence and today morning I had this entire thing typed in less than an hour sitting in college.
 I perform best in Pressure cooker conditions.

For a reason, season or a lifetime...

Long time back I read somewhere, that people come into your life for either a reason, a season or a lifetime. Honestly it didn't make much sense initially... just another quote I thought that sounds nice, but for past few days I have been pondering a lot about it... may be my subconscious mind could sense my present condition in life and thus surfaced that thought ... or may it happened just because I had nothing better to occupy myself with or may be both, none the less I remembered this line and have been trying to touch its depths ... and whats more I found myself in full agreement!

I thought it was quite a bizarre idea to begin with... I mean one meets so many different people each day so can just three rationale justify why they come into our lives... well, surprisingly enough,Yes..they can! These three underlying principles explains everything and not just that it even takes the blame from you and gives you the reason to exonerate yourself for losing that Special Someone!

Let me make myself more apparent as the nose on your face... haha ... jokes apart!

People come into your life for a REASON... yes that's right! After all there is a reason for every thing in life and some people come into your life JUST for a reason... They are more often than not, part of a larger plan and come into your life for a purpose and once the purpose is over they sail away as smoothly as they came. The purpose could be anything ... to teach you some important lesson in life, to help you realise your true destiny or even to just help you out of a sticky situation and once that purpose has been accomplished they go! They leave you or pick up a fight on some petty issues and part ways or just drift away not because you were at fault but simply because that's how it was meant to be!

People come into your life for a SEASON... ahan you got that right! Some people are like those beautiful daffodils... they bring sunshine, delight and fragrance and rejuvenate your soul but they remain only for a short season.... While they are there they fill your life with happiness and make it warm and beautiful... to say the least they make you want to celebrate life and fall in love with it all over again! But like all good things... they remain only for a short while and depart as soon as the spring comes to an end! But they leave you with wonderful memories to withstand the winter...!!

And then there are some who come into your life for a LIFETIME...!!
I have added a few to this list and hope to add many more... they are the ones who make my life worth all the trouble and endeavour ! I wouldn't give them up for the world but I would give up the world for them, without any second thoughts!
Today I thank YOU from the depths of my heart for giving me those cherished memories and being a part of my life... whether for a reason , season or a lifetime ...!


For YOU a thousand times over...

21/12/07

Down the memory lane with my Favourite "QUOTES"

Ritu Mehta: "Call UR Parents...!!"

T.R Singh: "Parents are most gullible... Prove It PLEASE..!!"

Siddheshwar Pandey: "Somebody CAN BE ABLE to give me RAID PAIN...??"

THE B.K Pandey: "In the next class we will do BABE MOTION..!!"
Class: "Sir lets start THE BABE MOTION today ...Pls"

Radhika: "But how will I stay without water... And how Can I drink College Water...??... I alredy have sooo many stomach prblms....I get up at 6am to take my medicines........lala lala blah blah..."
D: "Ma'am herez ur bottle.."
Radhika: "Aare... HOW can I take the white one... I WANT MY BLUE BOTTLE....!!"

Nidhi: "Dont u ReMA'AMber the answer...?? TOO GOOD..!!"

dnt remembr who this was "MA'AM aaj aap bahot gile gile lag rahe ho... lagta hai...aaj aap naha ke aaye ho...!!"

Anubha: "Whats this... nobody knows the answer...?? Is this some sort of IDENTITY CRISIS happenin here..???"

THE B.K Pandey: "Give me ATTENDENCE...... THE Saurabh....THE Nakul......"

Anubha: "ESSENTIALLY we all are kliving in a very different PARADIGM today..!"

THE B.K Pandey: "Newton Discovered ALAH...."
**HE MEANT "A LAW... "but his lovely Accent came in the way**

ANKITA: "But ma'am we weren't bunking.."
Ritu Mehta: "Can U define bunking for me..??"
**hey anky remembr the day..??...half my ribs broke 4m tryin not to laugh...gawd...**

Ritu Mehta: "What do think r u doing..all this xtra curriculars is gonna get get u no where....have u seen ur attendence... and ur internals... THIS WAS EXPECTED OUT OF U.."
D:"I M GLAD I DIDNT DISSAPOINT U MA'AM"
**tht was the founding stone of our mutual hatered...way back in beginning of 11th.....**

Devi: "Sweety life is all abt adjustin with newer MORONS.."

R.S : "Ah... didnt I tell u ..its all in the mind...!!"

Mrinal: "Aasmaan mein ude kabutar.... Flatter Flatter Flatter Flatter Flatter........"

Rudra: "you always end up gettin on several boats... all with different sized holes dnt u ???"
D: "yeah, guess so... and then die struggeling tryin to stay afloat...hehe"

R.S :"No ..but tell me how do u feel abt it....naa..!!"

Kalsi: " Crushes crush u..!!"

Rudra: "Go on ..chase ur dreams... as long as u can run...!!"

D: "I didn't know any short notes so wrote a 3 page thing on Sting...hope examiner appreciates my intelligence n give some marks......"
Praniti : "He will ... if the examiner is DRUNK..!!"
D: "Well even if he isnt....he'll get on a high after readin my answersheet...!!"
Praniti: "High enough to pull her/his hair out n dance arnd like a baldie ....??"