Sunday, November 9, 2008


The slight ticking of the clock tells me it's one o’clock in the night. Only sound I can hear is that of the ticking clock and my own breathing which seems out of place. I frown and wish I could stop breathing so as to enjoy the absolute silence.

The silence is comforting and it only feels safe in the dark. I feel safe in the dark. Darkness is like a huge comforting blanket that engulfs all the troubles, pain, misery, death- everything. It’s not that suddenly in the dark these things cease to exist. It’s just that I can’t see them in the absence of light and when I don’t see them I don’t think of them. Everything becomes a blur, like a distant bad dream, very far from reality. I'm certain I'm not alone who finds the darkness soothing and comforting.

I just want to pull this darkness over me like a cosy blanket of safety, close to myself and go off to sleep. I don’t want to face the world, it's ugly. I don’t want to see the light, it's blinding. I don’t want to be able to see things as they are, they are appalling. Yes, reality is appalling and I am disgusted.

I don’t want anyone looking for me, calling out my name. People are pathetic, every single one of them. I don’t want them disturbing the silence, waking me up from my dream. There is just one person I want to be with- myself.
Solitude is the most faithful companion and the best company. Indeed.


unforgiven said...

Kya hua Soniya?

Shantanu said...

You are somewhat right about solitude being a great companion. But what I am thinking right now is what brought on this very interesting confession.

Any answers?

just me... :) said...

I have already made a confession in public, now I don't want to/ feel like making another confession stating the reasons for previous confession.

Owning a blog does not imply that you need to bare all, does it?

P.S: If it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger and umm.. in some ways stranger. Just a thought.Random.

My Evil Self said...

Well... I would think it best not to quote a man who killed himself in the process,which may have a lot to do with this very belief. :)

And like I said, I wish you would write more often. You write beautifully.



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