Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Of Bfs, love & Forever- Part-II

(This post is a follow-up to 'Of Bfs, Love and Forever-I' which I wrote a while ago.)

I am certainly more experienced as I sit to pen down the second part of “Of Bfs, love and forever”. Yes, well experience is the name I like to give to my mistakes, it sounds more cool and optimistic and no, I wasn’t wise enough to learn from others' mistakes that’s why I ended up making my own.

We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities and my fellow mates can tell you in detail how having a boyfriend or a girlfriend is more of a necessity than a mere want. In fact having a boyfriend almost felt like having a baby or a puppy; everyone stopped to coo and talk about it! And now, after having learnt from my mistakes when I go around telling people that I don’t really need a boyfriend, they look horrified, like I was claiming that I don’t really need any clothes!

Have you ever got something new, and then tried resisting yourself from using it? Noticed how tough it is to resist? I too couldn’t resist using my newly acquired wisdom and life experiences, so I donned the jacket (I personally don’t like hats too much) of ‘love guru’ once again.

What came next was another flood of relationship problems, issues, situations and confusions. Armed with my better understanding of relationships and members of not-so-fairer-sex in general… I set forth to help my fellow sisters.

Here are some eye-openers for the benefit of general public:

Case 1: So I really really really love this guy (yes, we girls tend to use a word multiple times in order to lay emphasis), and I am absolutely crazy about him, but he is not very expressive and stuff... He says "I love too", when I tell him that I love him but sometimes I doubt whether he even loves me or not? And that makes me very insecure. May be its just me, but is there any way by which you can tell whether a guy loves you or not?”

Reply 1: Sure. When a guy loves a girl, he would ask her to marry him- to change her name, quit her job, have and raise babies, be home when he gets back from work, move where his job is.
(It makes me wonder what he might ask if he didn't love her!) But there you go.

Case 2: Ever since I started dating this guy…. You know? First that, then that, then that and now this… I mean there have been so many turning points in our relationship.

Reply 2: Really? With so many turning points in your relationship, how can you be so sure that you are not just going around in circles ?

Case 3: He is so blind to my emotional needs, he is never there for me when I need him, I could be crying my eyes out but it’s still hard for him guess that I might be upset… Do guys even have any feelings?

Reply 3: It would be highly unfair to say that guys don't have feelings. Of course they have feelings, but more along the lines of ‘Who cares!’, 'I'm hungry', 'Damn! India lost the match', 'When-the-fuck-will-she-shut up', 'I wish I could have a threesome with her and her best-friend.'
(Not necessarily in that order.)

Case 4: I have never been so happy in my life… I am in love and guy I am in love with is totally in love with me. Life seems just so perfect.

Reply 4: You fight every day, you cry your eyes out every alternate day, spend hours on phone with your best friend telling her about all the billion irritating habits of your guy and all the zillion problems that you are going through in your relationship... but you are happy and life is perfect! Illusion as Oscar Wilde says, is first of all pleasures. Enjoy.

Case 5:
When I met so and so, I felt this is what I had been waiting for all my life. He is so sweet, so loving, so caring…. And now that we are together I feel all my prayers have been answered!

Reply 5:  God is smart. When he wants to punish us, he simply answers our prayers.

P.S: Love is the food for soul; no wonder my soul died of food poisoning.

Why do I have the feeling you're wearing one of these around your neck right now?


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