Sunday, November 18, 2007

Jab we Met

Blue line, the killer bus has almost been woven into my daily routine now; so much so that I can’t imagine a day without them. Some of the higher and cynical mortals often tell me me, "These blue lines are very unsafe, aren't you scared of these killer buses?" All I have to tell them is that you are perfectly ‘safe’ as long as you are sitting _in the bus, outside; ‘God save you’. Besides it saves me from the hassle of haggling with the impertinent auto waalas, apart from giving me something to crib and rant about on my blog. Yeah, a blue line ride can be quite happening.


After Madam X; here’s another colour added to my rainbow of ‘Blue line experiences’.

That day was like any other day in Delhi. I had my morning glass of milk, walked to bus stop, saw someone trying to spit his innards out and turned my head in the opposite direction only to see this uncle peeing in a comfortable corner, was whistled at. You get the idea, it was like another day in Delhi.
I was returning back home on a blue line which, was packed to its full capacity as usual (I strongly recommend that all our ministers should be made to travel on blue lines, trust me they will take ‘population control’ much more seriously after that).

Anyway, so there I was in the bus, when ultimately my stop came. Now for the ignorant or rather more privileged ones, let me tell you getting out of a blue line is no mean feat. You have to hold your bag and your breath and literally push + kick your way out! Why does one have to hold their breath you may ask; because my dear friend, the junta on the bus strongly believes that nothing can beat the natural body smell and putting a deo is way below their dignity. So unless you intend to faint, you must hold your breath!

Yes, so as I was pushing-kicking my way out, my bag got stuck somewhere and I couldn't move. I tried pulling it but in vain, I turned back only to find to my horror that the strap of my bag has got stuck in some fancy neck chain of a guy ! I looked up to get a better look at him and found him grinning from ear to ear in pure bliss. He strongly reminded me of one of those chimpanzee on Animal Planet, the likeness was striking. But come to think of it chimpanzees are cute!
He was all 5feet, dark…was wearing those typical black leather jackets and blue low waist jeans with ‘I ROCK’ written in red sequin, some fancy belt with skulls on it and black sunglasses at six o'clock in the evening(Yeah, well I am a good observer). In short he was short, dark and ugly! No matter how atrocious he might seem to the outer world, he himself was happily swinging in the comforting breeze of self-delusion (ignorance is bliss). So there he was standing in all his glory, totally helpless in removing that idiotic grin plastered on his face. I was disgusted, he was amazed; I was struggling to free my bag, he was pretending to struggle to free my bag; and the uncle jiz around were enjoying.


By the time I freed my bag and this scene straight out of some cheap ‘C’ Grade romance flick got over bus had already left my stop. So as the fate would have it again, from there I had to walk about 2 km to my home.


P.S: :-/
Blue lines in Delhi- The notorious killer buses

Friday, November 9, 2007

Hmmmm.....

Update: It's better if you skip this one. This is one of those pieces that make you cringe when you read them after a passage of time. The liberties I took with the punctuation are not the only thing wrong with this post. Thank god for growing up.

There are some who won't care... no matter what you do and then there are some who can't stop caring, no matter what you do. So guess I just hold on to the latter and let go of the former. No hard feelings guys. I love you all but not more than myself !!!!
Here's wishing everyone a happy, joyous... and fun filled Diwali !!! Enjoy....

P.S. On going through this post I realised that I've been beating around the bush but whatever... .... ... I like taking liberties once in a while..!!! :)

Yours truly,
(the eternal optimist..!!)

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Suffocated

Update: It's better if you skip this one. This is one of those pieces that make you cringe when you read them after a passage of time. The liberties I took with the punctuation are not the only thing wrong with this post. Thank god for growing up.

Be it my breakfast eggs or my life, i always like the sunny side up...but you don't always get what you want...do you?? I didn't always get what I want from life...and I didn't get what I asked from my so called friends either, just a bit of straight forwadness, honesty and mutual trust would have made things so much easier..!!
But its usually the simple things that people take so much time to understand...
Wonder whats the need to pretend...that u care...what was the need to tell me that you'll always be there....lies ...lies..and more lies....diplomacy...and that fake plastic smile...agrh...i m disgusted...!!

If u have a problem...tell me on my face dammit, i won't dream that you've got a hitch ...why play such dirty games....either play fair or quit playing... Besides my sentiments and emotions aren't meant for playing...

God...this can't be me..... but I am so sick and tired...

may be i have boarded the wrong 'ship'... . thats bound to sink ... may be it was I who never saw the hole .... I who didn't repair it in time ... but wasn't it also a job of fellow passengers to mend the hole ... couldn't they even tell me....

Monday, November 5, 2007

Rendezvous with Madam X's eccentricities


As if that crazy test wasn't enough, after class Madam X expressed her desire to go home with me. I was simply too shocked and confused to reply to her sudden offer and the true blue optimist that she is, she took my lack of reply as a whole hearted acceptance! With no escape route in sight, I went with her till the bus stop- limping, panting and carrying her heavy trademark jholas.

We waited for an auto for what seemed like eternity, meanwhile Ms. X danced on the road in her trademark style. To say the least, Madam X is a walking talking monument; she never ceases to be the focus of attention. Though attention that she attracts need not necessarily be positive, being in the media we believe any attention is good attention. As I fought off all the reflected attention I was getting by pretending not to know her, I wondered how being a communication teacher herself, she could not read the obvious non-verbal signs I was giving.

Ultimately, by gods grace the bus came (yes, we couldn't get an auto thanks to the good 10 minutes lecture she gave to three auto waal's on politeness, work ethics and what not!) I forced Madam X, my self and her classic jholas in the over crowded bus and thanked my stars that at least I wasn't alone with her.

Of course in the mean time Madam X being in her element continued with her perennial Bharat Natyam in the crowded bus (this is no exaggeration, on the contrary it's as literal as I can get).
As I wondered what worse could happen I realised in time that I was being optimistic to the point of foolishness, because then, just then in the half way, when I thought my troubles were over, a lightening realization struck Madam X, she had nirvana, she realized..........that…….... that she has forgotten to lock the media library!

Bas phir kaya tha.. driver ko bol kar bus rukwaye... khud to niche kud gayi... par mujhe post-man bana diya... she left... her 10kg ka khana + papers + other junk........with me.....and. asked me to drop them at her place............ and .....before she got down....she wanted her water bottle (what if i feel thirsty? How will I have college water? God..I'll die...!!) and so she did her authentic Madam X style search to find that particular “blue” water bottle ...she didn't want the white one I gave her (germs???). I was awestruck, trust me the Indian Anti-terrorism Cell should take a lesson or two from her in 'the art of searching' !!

Then as the fate would have it, I walked for about an hour carrying her junk...searching her makaan..........and ........“hai meri kamar.......ui maa....!!!”

Sunday, November 4, 2007

That Perfect Stranger

Update: It's better if you skip this one. This is one of those pieces that make you cringe when you read them yourself after a gap of time. The liberties I took with punctuation then and that is not even the only thing wrong with this.

Well we all have our moments in life... Moments that come like a powerful wave...and sweep us along... We can't help but flow with them.... It's these moments that break the monotony of life and make it worth living...!!

This one is for that perfect stranger who made me smile, for all my friends and all others who are forever looking for happiness...without realising...that it's just next to them..!!!
That Perfect Stranger...
At some random place,
just another guy.
Yet, looking in his eyes
I thought otherwise
Yes, it's true...
He was a perfect stranger to me,
I didn't know him, nor did he!

The time froze
and so did I,
Felt i knew him already
Don't know why..?
Still I stood,
Melting under his glance,
But I knew life would
never give us another chance
Yes, it's true
He was a perfect stranger to me,
I didn't know him, nor did he!

At that instant,
There wasn't a thing that mattered,
It was as if,
the world had ceased to exist,
All I cared ...
was the mystical
Moment that we shared...
Yes, it's true...
He was a perfect stranger to me,
I didn't know him, nor did he!

Yet, that moment
is very special to me
Buried in my heart
as a cherished memory...
Yes, it's true..
He was a perfect stranger to me,
I didn't know him, nor did he!
The Perfect Stranger

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