Sunday, November 18, 2007

Jab we Met

Blue line, the killer bus has almost been woven into my daily routine now; so much so that I can’t imagine a day without them. Some of the higher and cynical mortals often tell me me, "These blue lines are very unsafe, aren't you scared of these killer buses?" All I have to tell them is that you are perfectly ‘safe’ as long as you are sitting _in the bus, outside; ‘God save you’. Besides it saves me from the hassle of haggling with the impertinent auto waalas, apart from giving me something to crib and rant about on my blog. Yeah, a blue line ride can be quite happening.

After Madam X; here’s another colour added to my rainbow of ‘Blue line experiences’.

That day was like any other day in Delhi. I had my morning glass of milk, walked to bus stop, saw someone trying to spit his innards out and turned my head in the opposite direction only to see this uncle peeing in a comfortable corner, was whistled at. You get the idea, it was like another day in Delhi.
I was returning back home on a blue line which, was packed to its full capacity as usual (I strongly recommend that all our ministers should be made to travel on blue lines, trust me they will take ‘population control’ much more seriously after that).

Anyway, so there I was in the bus, when ultimately my stop came. Now for the ignorant or rather more privileged ones, let me tell you getting out of a blue line is no mean feat. You have to hold your bag and your breath and literally push + kick your way out! Why does one have to hold their breath you may ask; because my dear friend, the junta on the bus strongly believes that nothing can beat the natural body smell and putting a deo is way below their dignity. So unless you intend to faint, you must hold your breath!

Yes, so as I was pushing-kicking my way out, my bag got stuck somewhere and I couldn't move. I tried pulling it but in vain, I turned back only to find to my horror that the strap of my bag has got stuck in some fancy neck chain of a guy ! I looked up to get a better look at him and found him grinning from ear to ear in pure bliss. He strongly reminded me of one of those chimpanzee on Animal Planet, the likeness was striking. But come to think of it chimpanzees are cute!
He was all 5feet, dark…was wearing those typical black leather jackets and blue low waist jeans with ‘I ROCK’ written in red sequin, some fancy belt with skulls on it and black sunglasses at six o'clock in the evening(Yeah, well I am a good observer). In short he was short, dark and ugly! No matter how atrocious he might seem to the outer world, he himself was happily swinging in the comforting breeze of self-delusion (ignorance is bliss). So there he was standing in all his glory, totally helpless in removing that idiotic grin plastered on his face. I was disgusted, he was amazed; I was struggling to free my bag, he was pretending to struggle to free my bag; and the uncle jiz around were enjoying.

By the time I freed my bag and this scene straight out of some cheap ‘C’ Grade romance flick got over bus had already left my stop. So as the fate would have it again, from there I had to walk about 2 km to my home.

P.S: :-/
Blue lines in Delhi- The notorious killer buses


Rozita Singh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rozita Singh said...

another humourous 1 frm u!luvd it! :D u r 2 gud at writing comic stuff!awesome!hehe! :D
waiting fr sumthng funny 2 happen with u!

Shantanu said...

you write made a readable 2 paragraphs out of a small incident. And you made it interesting...looking forward to your next.

Rebel Raised by SATAN himself said...

hahaha..... good good!! waise dont you think those guys work really hard and better have something to eat than a 300 bucks canister for appeasing others!!!

This one is the best......

spine chilling said...

lol..i relly liked this one...maybe coz evn i hav sch weird experiences olmost evryday(days when i miss my u-spl, wich is olmost evryday)...:D


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